Being alive, existing, whatever you call it is the cat’s pajamas I tell you what. I mean like seriously, what the fuck is going on? I have no ducking clue. Somewhere over the rainbow a cock crowed. See the continuity? This my friends is the mind it’s my mind, not yours and that’s why I have no friends. Nobody knows what the fuck I’m on about! I, of course know exactly what the duck is going on, I just can’t tell you. I’m not lying, I actually can’t tell you. Like there is a barrier. It is there, it matters! Somewhere if your mind is on one track and it derails, where does your mind train go? Does it lay in the dirt waiting for the tow truck? No. It does not do that. It explodes into a billion pieces and keeps you aware of and believing absolutely in each and every piece, loving and cherishing the bits like your own child! So my mind is absolutely derailed but to me, I’m perfectly sane. Ya know how you feel when you see a cuckoo bird crackhead dancing in the street and babbling to everyone but to no one in particular? I feel like “normies” look at me in the same way. Just as I feel 100% sane and normal but am weird and cuckoo to these normie birds, that crackhead of course feels like he’s normal and why are all these wackos walking and driving in straight lines every day?
Literally. I’m not really looking any more, like for people and what not. Or God, or god tho the devil would probably be more interesting to talk with. And I know for damn sure nobody is looking for me, and they couldn’t find me even if for some odd reason somebody tried. I just know that everyone is a pussy, including myself. Maybe there existed wise or brave or frank or honest people at some point in time but they aren’t anywhere around here. Not even that I want things to be different than they are now. I’m sure I’m no less buried in delusions than the next guy.
My brain wants nicotine. I am depriving it. My brain is like a whiny child but also endlessly fascinating to me, much more so than the external world. Sorry if anyone is reading this, you are the external world I’m talking about and you are very uninteresting. Well you are part of it anyway but see you’re a tree to me.